Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
