Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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