Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
