Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
