Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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