I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
