I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
