new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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