She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize