I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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