the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
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If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
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It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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