those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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