I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
