Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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