theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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