If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
