ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Dear god my vagina.
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