shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
