Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
