my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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