shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
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I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
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This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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