How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
