tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
