you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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