i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
