i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
