I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
