he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
