Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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