I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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