don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
