theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize