Best friends brother. Beat that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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