can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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