My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It was a blind-side dick pic.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
