If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we're making bets on your personal life
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize