Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
