Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Who died my cat blue again?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
