It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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