i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
