that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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