I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
