Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
