i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
