big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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