I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
