i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
