Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
