I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
