I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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