Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
