i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
