I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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