Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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