I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
