I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Randomize
