Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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