I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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