You can't special order awesome
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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